Dear internet: I am not interested in penises

(although I do think it's sorta cool how they're shaped like undersea torpedos)

Undersea munitions aside, please stop Googling matthew inman gay.

Instead, do your part and Google something like:

"matthew inman would high five a vagina if he could"

or possibly

"matthew inman is totally not aroused by bearded lumberjacks"

torpedos and kisses

-not gay Matthew Inman